Here is a tale from the very wellsprings of the Western Tradition:

A young newlywed once approached the famous Greek sage Socrates for advice. This discussion eventually turned to sex.

“How many times should a man enjoy this pleasure?” asked the youth.

“Once,” replied the sage in a calm and matter-of-fact tone.

“Once?” came the astonished reply.

“Very well then, once a year won’t cause any harm.”

“But Sir,” pleaded the young man, “I’m just married, and to a beautiful and delightful young lady. Surely you don’t expect me to have sex but once a year?”

“Very well, then four times a year – taking great care not to allow yourself to fall ill.”

“You must be jesting, Sir!” I am a young man, at the peak of my energy. How can I restrain myself to four contacts a year when I am married to a passionate, amorous woman?”

“All right, then. Have intercourse once a month – and avoid all sudden changes in temperature, keep out of rain and snow, do nothing which taxes the body unduly and eat foods which will provide you strength”

“But once a month,” blurted the groom.

Testily the venerable teacher replied, “Okay – every night, once before sleeping, once after waking up. But you must do one thing first…”

Delighted the youth exclaimed, “And what is that?”

“That you will come with me to the necropolis so that we have a coffin made to order for your size. Then you may keep it in your home and save your young widow-to-be much worry when your time has come!”